July 15th, 2008

annoying as heck

By way of review

  • chewing gum lowers your visible IQ by 20 points
  • picking your nose lowers your visible IQ by 20 points
  • singing along to your car radio with the windows up lowers your visible IQ by 10 points
  • windows down adds an additional loss of 15 points
  • unless it's a really cool song (I get to decide, so the odds of this are very slim)
  • wearing a shirt with a quote from a TV show or movie lowers your visible IQ by 20 points
  • unless you're in a bar, in which case it's 40 points
  • holding something to your head while you walk lowers your visible IQ by 50 points
  • babbling to yourself on a headset while you walk has EXACTLY THE SAME EFFECT
  • walking into people/objects while talking on a cell phone adds an additional loss of 40 points
  • holding something to your head while you drive lowers your visible IQ by 50 points
  • texting lowers your visible IQ by 40 points
  • texting in the driver's seat adds an additional loss of 60 points

    So you can walk down the street picking your nose, chewing gum, wearing a T-shirt that says "More cowbell" and STILL not be as big an idiot as someone sitting in the driver's seat and texting their friends at a stoplight.

    In the interest of safety and your own self-respect, please go back to picking your nose.
    Spam sez "Try, it is pleasant to you"
  • annoying as heck

    IDTSTF - Second installment

    Sunflower Butter (like peanut butter, only made from sunflower seeds) is really quite good. Not "quite good for being a substitute," but quite good in its own right. If I could still eat peanuts [pauses to curse fate], I would nonetheless eat this instead of most peanut butter, especially the sugary-fakey Jif types of things. Like all nut butters (Say THAT without having to stifle a smile), it's just chock fulla fat, but there are worse things in the world, and certainly much worse fats.
    Spam says "Do not deny that plesure"
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