| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2009|05:33 pm] |
A bit of pre-emptive bribery-by-information in this post, before I ask questions which no-one will answer.
( And so it begins )
From this point on, in those rare occasions in which I need to make reference to marshmallow sauce, I shall instead call it "Marshmallow GRAVY." I think that this has the potential to be kind of disturbing.
Spam Sez "Re: your question has been answered" |
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| An exercise in self-restraint |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|04:25 pm] |
From time to time, I buy things to throw to the audience at shows.
Yesterday, as I was wondering aimlessly up and down the aisles of the grocery store, I thought it might be funny to buy some glue sticks. I would throw them to the audience at some dark point in a show, and some of them might think that it was lip balm, and hilarity would ensue.
But then I remembered that I'm not THAT kind of jerk. Also, this breaks one of the Basic Laws of the Stoat Method, which is:
"Do not throw anything that you do not want thrown back at you later."
And yes, that law also applies to things you put on the 1nt3ebl04t.
Spam sez "Your Doctor's degree is waiting for you." |
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| How to apologise |
[Nov. 21st, 2008|12:05 pm] |
I like a laugh. I like the humour. I'm a nut who jokes around.
I rarely mean harm, but sometimes people take offense. Usually, they have misunderstood my japery, and the spirit in which it has been administered. I DO NOT bother making the clever for the benefit of anyone I don't actually care about. It could be argued that, in order to do anything, you have to care about the subject to/for whom you are doing it. But I don't want to have that argument. I want to teach, I want to share. I want to CARE!
Here then, is an excerpt of a recent email I sent to a band I play in, apologising for something I said about the singer, which may have given him offense. ( I hope this can serve as a model for you, should you ever need to apologise to someone in print )
I hope that this provides some comfort."
Spam sez "Your neighbour complaining on you" |
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| What Computer Should I Buy--Special "This Month" Edition |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|02:15 pm] |
I was talking to my friend Rubbertoe in Vancouver over the emails.
You must understand something: Rob has worked with computer crap longer than I have. He's probably done an order of magnitude more meaningful work with computers than I have. He's also crankier than I am. He project-manages for a company that makes software for Windows. He runs Linux boxes in his house. He worked with AS/400s. He Knows Things.
And he is very happy with his Macbook.
Sadly, Rob had a beer-related mishap with his MacBook, which ended OK, but now he doesn't trust it forever. He does a lot of recording and stuff, and he's had laptops go away on him before, taking with them things he would have preferred not to lose. So he bought aTime Capsule, which he set up and it Just Worked.
He wrote this:
*... i'm becoming such a fan of apple that i
* feel i need to go out and buy an iphone just so i have a reason to
* bitch about them.
To which I replied:
Save some money--install iTunes on your Windows machine. Be sure not
to tell me how that goes.
This lead to a discussion of What Computer To Buy Today, which is a question I have been asked a lot in the last couple-three months.
( And here is where I am with that )
"Spam sez "Perfect weight and feel." |
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| Just in case the LHC causes the end of the world |
[Sep. 9th, 2008|04:15 pm] |
Remember that time you put something down, and then went back to get it, and it was gone?
And that time you thought it smelled in the elevator and you couldn't figure out why?
And the time you got to the checkout and there was no price on one item and it took forever to figure out the price and you were in a hurry and held up the line?
And the time that one tire was suddenly flat?
And the time you put your hand in something sticky on the escalator?
And the time the bus was late?
And the time that you got really sick from eating at that restaurant?
And the time that there was no paper in the toilet stall?
And the time that the dispenser ran out of towels after only giving you one?
And the time that the bank machine was out of service and you had to walk blocks and blocks to find another?
And the time that machine took your money and didn't give you your stuff?
And the time that your fries were suddenly stone cold?
And the time that your hair just wouldn't stop doing that?
And the time that there was a stone in your shoe but it wouldn't fall out?
And the time that the milk went bad overnight in the fridge?
And the time that your guitar was so strangely out of tune?
And the time that you got drunk way faster than normal?
And the time that you couldn't get to sleep?
And the time your alarm didn't go off, even though you remembered setting it?
And the time that drink tasted funny?
And the time that cake fell for no reason?
I did that. It was me.
Sorry.
Spam sez "Great Ape Scolded for Pulling Fire Alarm" |
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| AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! |
[Sep. 6th, 2008|01:37 pm] |
I DIDN'T TAPE QUALIFYING FOR THE BELGIAN GRAND PRIX!
SPA IS THE BEST TRACK IN THE WORLD!
WHYYYYYY? WHY HAS FATE DONE THIS TO ME?
TO MEEEEEEEEEE!
Spam sez "Very important news." |
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| Wow. |
[Sep. 4th, 2008|10:07 pm] |
I just played the worst set of music I have played since....
since...
Man. It's been like, decades since I did such a bad show. My apologies to anyone who had to hear that.
Spam sez "Be Bad Boy!"
EDIT the next day:
It appears people liked the show. I can only assume that I am such I harsh critic of my own playing that it was actually stellar and I didn't realise it.
That sounds better than "The material (which I didn't write) and the playing of the rest of the band might be good enough to cover for my bad night" doesn't it? I mean, I have to ask myself "which one is more about ME?"
As I scurry off to practice. |
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